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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  August 1, 2013 1:00am-1:31am PDT

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[horn honking]nking ) they've modified a bus to get us out of here! - i knew they'd come back for us!ome bak al - all right! yeah! - look, glen, we're saved!we'rea - all right, i'm turning around. i' - why are they turning? - what are they doing? don't leave us! - let's hope to christ this works. hope to - ♪ california love fonia ♪
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♪ california ♪ is nice to the homeless ♪is nice ♪ california ♪ ♪ super cool to the homeless ♪ to ♪ in the city in the ♪ city of santa monica sant ♪ lots of rich people ich e ♪ giving change to the homeless ♪omeless - change?c - ♪ in the city - ♪ city of brentwood - ♪ in the city ♪ they take really good care ♪ ♪ of all their homeless ir - they're listening! let's go! ♪ - ♪ in the city ity ♪ - ♪ marina del rey ♪ they're so nice to the homeless ♪meless ♪ build 'em porta-potties - they're--they're leading them away!they' - we're gonna be all right! we'r - ♪ california ♪ ♪ super cool to the homeless ♪ - ♪ california an ♪ a orn ne
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♪ in the city ♪ city of venice ♪ right by matt's house ous♪ ♪ you can chill if you're homeless ♪ou'rhm ♪ - ugh! - yes! that's three homeless!e hol suck on that! that ! [bleep], yeah! - honestly, i don't know what you see in this, kyle.eawhy captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.comtral >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the "daily show" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ). >> john: welcome to the "daily show." my name is john oliver. i am still sitting in for jon stewart who is spending the summer with a lonely
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millionaire. sigh what you will-- he's making $3,000 and he doesn't have to kiss on the mouth. so don't judge. our guest tonight stars in "lovelace," hank azaria is with us. very, very good. but we begin tonight with congress. >> a new cnn poll shows just how fed up we are with congress. 77% disapprove of how congress is handling its job. >> john: congratulations, congress. 77%. you may be about to become the english language's most offense of the "c" word. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) after ( bleep ). but, look, there's still two days left before the august recess. the "c" word could still pull this around. they could pass immigration reform. it's already been through the senate, so come o"c" word, let's do this. >> immigration reform. that's stuck and it has a very difficult road of getting anywhere in the house. >> john: okay, let's just be honest now-- the house is
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clearly where things go to die. it's where parents are going to start telling their kids their aging pets went. "oh, now, fluffy's fine, darling. she just got stuck in committe committee." ( laughter ) one challenge facing this immigration bill is-- ( laughter ) one challenge facing this immigration bill is a certain level of misinformation about the people that it is intended to help. >> they will say to me and others who would defend the rule of law, "we have to do something about the 11 million. some of them are valedictorians." well, my answer to that is for every one who is a valedictorian there are another 100 out there they way 130 pounds and have calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert. ( laughter ). >> john: what? it's hard to know where to begin to unpack a statement like that. first, i think that is hard
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proof that steve king does not use drugs. because-- does he have any idea what 75 pounds of marijuana would look like? ( laughter ) that would be pretty hard to haul across a desert. ( cheers and applause ) in fact, could we see a little bit more of that picture? okay, so he was right about one thing. but maybe we shouldn't blame steve king. this is probably just what his constituents want, right? >> 69% of steve king's constituents in iowa's fourth congressional district want comprehensive immigration reform. 59% support a pathway to permanent residents for undocumented immigrants under the age of 15. >> john: wow! to go this hard against your own constituency and basic reason, you really must have balls the size of cantaloupes. ( laughter ) and unrepresentative king is not alone in his distrust of these
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immigrants. >> the problem is that so many of them who come here illegally come so ill prepared for succe success. they come with lack of education. they come with lack of skill. they come with lack of ability or unwillingness to asimulate into the culture. >> john: exactly. do we really want these tired, poor, huddle masses in this country? show me the place where it says that's what we want. show me the place! show it to me! ( cheers and applause ) of course, in the end, it may not even matter what congress does with this or any law. >> pill polititions at the state level are increasingly frustrated with what they say is an over-reach by the obama administration. >> we know what is best for us here in kentucky, and we don't want to be dictated to by washington, d.c. >> for kentucky state senator damen thayer, the feds have gone
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too far. >> the left wing liberals in washington, d.c. think they know what's best. they hut guns. they hade haight law-abiding citizens who want to buy guns, and we fear that there will be federal gun laws that actually take away what we believe is our second amendment right to keep and bear arms. >> other than that premise being completely false, what message did you send to d.c.? the senate passed a bill that would have nullified any new federal gun law passed after january 1. >> he's talking about nullification. an age-old legislative tactic where states pass specific laws exempting themselves from federal laws. it's a flawless political technique that dozens of embracing, despite fact the supreme court made nullification laws illegal on several occasions, but that is not the point. >> barack obama lost kentucky in a landslide in 2008 and 2012.
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so if we disagree with those policies that we stated twice, why should our governor have the right to go ahead and, by unilateral fiat, implement the most unpopular law that this president has passed. >> if you didn't vote for the president, why should his administration's laws apply in your state? >> correct. >> other than the fact that it's the law. >> other than the fact that it is the law. ( laughter ) >> but, apparently, some, like county-level kentucky judge tommy turner don't think thayer has the right to nullify any federal law. >> nullification law nmy opinion, is not legal. it's impossible for the state to ignore federal law. i mean, basically they'd be ignoring the united states constitution. >> so what are you going to do did bit? >> we introduce aid bill to full nigh state laws. ( laughter ) >> so, okay, i'm just-- i'm just confused. you're nullifying the state's nullification law.
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>> in simple terms, yes, that's correct. but that's not legal. >> yes. we feel nullification is something that can't be done, but if it can be done, we're going to do it. laugh. >> all this legal speak is very confusing. explain did with some cun techie folksiness. >> what's good for the goose is good for the gander? >> what the hell is a gander? >> the mean is if one can do it the other can do it. >> like i saed, what's a gander? >> um... ( laughter ) i can guess. and i may be correct. but i may not, either, so. >> you've been saying it since you were a kid. >> yeah. >> look it up. but thayer isn't concerned with judge turner's nullification proposal. >> it proo-- it probably-- i think he-- i think it probably lacks legal standing. >> what about your nullification
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that also lacks legal standing? >> that's part of the debate. ( laughter ) i'm not sure that, that judge turner's nullification of nullification isn't more than a publicity stunt on his behalf. >> what's good for the goose is not good for the. >> gander? >> and the gand ser a. >> male goose? >> exactly. is that so whrooep ( bleep ) hard? if the feds can get nullified by the states, which they can't, and the state can get nullified by the county, which they can't ydid is end? >> it is a vicious circ expelled may be one that turns around and bites us. i think if our citizens rose up and decide they wanted to individually nullify laws handed to them, then, yes, we would have that cos. we would have anarchy. >> no, i don't eye don't see that happening. >> judge turner thinks it will happen. >> we in kentucky are a
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law-abiding society. >> he's right, kentucky is a law-abiding society except for the laws they don't feel they need to abide by. so are there any laws that affect your life that you would like to see nullified? >> i don't think it's a right to pull someone over because they didn't wear a seat belt. motorcycles don't have to wear a seat belt. >> i personally think i can handle my drinks, and i think the d.u.i. laws in this state, for instance, are a little bit low. >> smoking, i don't smoke, but i think you should be able to smoke wherever you want. >> you can handle more. >>un, one time i blew a .22, and i was still pretty darn lucid. >> who are the county or state or left-wing liberals in d.c. to tell us what to do? americans know best at the local level. >> you like fresh air, right? there gu. >> and laws shouldn't apply to us if we didn't vote for the people who made them. i mean, seriously, is it really going to kill someone?
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>> ( bleep ). we know what's best for ourselves and our children. >> john: thank you, jason. bell be t @ 1c@fn $ d>> john: welcome b.
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we're going to check in again with nobody's favorite new york city mayoral candidate, anthony weiner, who continues to refuse to do anything resembling the right thing. >> i know that there are newspaper editors and other politicians that say, boy, i wish that guy weiner would quit. they don't know new york. they certainly don't know me. quit isn't the way we roll through new york city. we fight through tough things. we are a tough city. >> john: no, no, no, no, no! are you not doing this. you are not 9/11'ing your dick picks. no! this is a line and you just went over that line. in fact, you know what? maybe you should just stop talking altogether and hire a professional communications director to speak for you. >> yesterday, weiner's communications director, barbara morgan, called a former intern a "bleeping shut bag" and other choice words displawn that's
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weiner's communications director. and while she at least communicates with words rather than with her genitals, it's still not ideal. nowrntion, normally, that kind of thing would cost you your job, but what is anthony weiner going to do, fire her for inappropriate behavior? he can't do that, and that is why he wont be able to run this city. he has no standing to punish anyone for anything anymore. thousand of people could be urinating on police cars and say, "i'm not going to quit urinating, mr. mayor, because as you know, that's not how we roll here in new york city." ( cheers and applause ) let's let the voters decide. now, we've been cover ago ( laughter ) we've been covering this story a lot because we live here in new york, but please, please know it's not like we don't care about other cities' elected
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perverts, too. >> is it the mayor of san diego accused of behavior so inappropriate it might make your skin crawl? >> now, he'll probably-- you're probably thinking that's quite a claim. post-weiner it's going to take a throt make my skin crawl. well, get ready to policy for your skip for what it's about to hear. it's not just going to curl. it's going to spider walk across the ceiling like linda blair in the "exorcist. >> an eighth woman has come forward to accuse san diego's mayor with sexual harassment claiming he kissed her after a business meeting. >> on the sidewalk, the mayor, suddenly, in clear view of anyone who might pass by, grabbed and kissed her, jamming his tongue down her throat. >> john: ewwww! that is gross and sexual assault. but it gets a lot worse, so much so, in fact, let's put up the
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"ewwwwwhelp omter." >> he said i should be appreciate forward working my behind off. he told me to turn and around he patted me on the veer and laughed and said, no, it's still there. >> john: ewwww! look at the needle. look at the needle! it's reaching 4.2. that is disgusting, and, again, sexual assault. but, please, tell me it doesn't get worse than that. >> the mayor quickly had his hand on the inside of her bra. >> and i turned and-- and he just slobbered down my chin. >> john: ewww! ewww! ewww! ewwww! say what you want about anthony weiner, at least his pics don't leave a physical residue on your face. >> the mayor challenged me to give him one example of how his behavior towards me was
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improper. i point out that he had asked me to work without my underwear on. >> john: ewww! i've got-- oh! oh! oh! he broke the ewww-omter. that's the overwhelming evidence against him. does he have anything to say in his defense? >> i'm a very demonstrative person. i-- i express myself demonstrably. i'm a-- i'm a hugger. >> john: never smile again! never smile ever again! is it possible, through a single image, to smell someone's teeth. this man is revolting. he should-- he should probably be arrested. he is at the very least unfit for public office. please tell me that unlike
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anthony weiner fillener knows when to quit. >> beginning on august 5, i will be entering a behavior counseling clinic to undergo two weeks of intensive therapy to begin the process of addressing my behavior. so when i return on august 19-- >> john: whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! wait, wait! you're coming back! after two weeks? your fitness for office problem is not that you need to lose five pounds. it's that you need to lose your entire personality. ( laughter ). and by the way, not every nauseating thing fillener does is sexual. >> he shocked his constituents with this, asking san diego taxpayers to cover his legal fees for a sexual harassment lawsuit. >> ooooh! >> john: cover his legal fees. don't worry. there is no way the people of sand yieg are going to grant him that request. in fact, i think he's better pawoff tryingto raise the mon on í$h,eñ euu)r hsq@q@,x-x
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( cheers and applause ) >> john: welcome back. my guest tonight, an actor who can currently be seen in "smurf 2" and his upcoming film is "lovelace." ♪ if you ain't in your thing like you want to get your thing ♪ >> jerry? >> yeah. >> not a cloud in the sky.
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what's with the ( bleep ) shad shadows. your shad rose costing me hundreds of dollars. >> you want to turn the lights off. ( bleep ). no problem. i'll turn them off. ( bleep ). >> make a movie without lights. >> john: please welcome back to the show the fantastic hank azaria. ( cheers and applause ) >> john: please, please, please. "lovelace," it's about linda lovelace, of course, star and/or victim of "deep throat." >> yes, talk about the lace on my wig as you saw there. >> john: that was some wig. when someone comes to you and says we're looking for a cd exploitative greaseball in this movie, we thought you'd be
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perfect. >> i'm shock you actually had the quote that they used. ( laughter ) well, my buddy wrote the film. and thought of me. >> john: that is worse. >> so, you know, a lot of people ask me, "were you hesitant to do this movie?" like, "did you worry because it's about pornography?" what year is this? we're post "boogie nights" here. when i saw the toupee, i was a little concerned. i played the man who really did write and direct "deep throat" and he really did have a piece-- actually, his was worse. >> john: wow. >> and he was a hairdresser. >> john: no way. >> a woman's hairstylist and he had that on his head. >> john: porn and politics are america's last remaining boom industries, and as you saw from the second act, they're
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basically fused with weiner and this other guy. it's hard to overstate just how successful "deep throat" was for a movie. >> it made an unbelievable amount of money. i guess then came "debbie does dallas" and "beyond the green door." and poor linda lovelace never saw a penny. >> john: oh, what a surprise. >> i know. >> john: what a shock-- a woman in porn did not see lots of money on the backend. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> careful how you use the term "backend." >> john: i was halfway through that sentence thinking, "i know this end badly." >> has a different meaning in porn. but today, they-- i don't been backend, but they do-- they get highly paid. >> john: right. >> they make a nice living. >> john: the clever thing about this movie it's the same story told twice. you get the glammuous version of it for the first half of the film when it is funny, in which
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are you appear and the second half you get the reality of what you've just seen, which was appalling. >> horrible. >> john: because she suffered deeply, was exploited on an incredible scale, and was not respected in any human form. >> no, and when she came forward to reveal that she got a lot of crap for that, too. you know, the way she actually put it was, "every time you see me having sex on screen in 'deep throat' i was being raped." that's the way she felt about it. it was a hard time for her. i have never seen a movie structured the way you just mentioned. i've never seen it where it starts over again and shows youue enjoyed that story. now why don't you see what really happened. >> that's the interesting thing. it says you enjoyed that story? guess what, you shouldn't have done. let's look at the reality of it. it makes you complicity in what you just have been-- whether titulated or enjoyed it, it makes you regret laughing at every point of the story-- apart from the wig. that was good. ( laughter ) we've not met before, but we
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have actually worked together. >> that's true. >> john: in "smurfs 2" and i'm a smurf. >> i'. >> i admire your comedy and very glad you're in "smurf 2" with me. >> john: "lovelace" is fantastic. "smurf 2 i've not seen. i'm sure it's great. >> it is. >> john: "lovelace" will be in t on as on a
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